Outside looking in

Recently I've been challenged to take a peek at what the church looks like from the outside. If you haven't tried it lately, it's not for the faint of heart. If you can't bear criticism, don't read further. If you think we should be reaching people with good news, read on cautiously.

One note: I am not talking about any particular church. I'm talking in the large sense: church.

In order to pursue this outside perspective, I imagined myself outside any church -- having no church affiliation. Almost immediately I was struck by how exclusive the church looks from that perspective. For a person unaccustomed to the rhythms and customs of a church, everyone inside seems to be dancing to a song that only they can hear. When to sit, when to stand, what to expect next are mysteries. (Even as a church-goer, I've experienced this feeling briefly when I have visited churches in other cities or churches in other traditions than my own.)

Although most churches are genuinely welcoming, we sometimes talk in inaccessible language that probably sounds like code. And sometimes the words we use are unintentionally hurtful or offensive . . . exclusionary. Words like the ones we use for those people who are not in our churches, words like "non-Christians" or "unchurched" or "outsiders" or "the world" -- or gasp! "pagans." Even the terms "visitor" and "newcomer" can sound critical, carrying with it the idea of latecomer or those slow to arrive at the truth that the rest of us found oh so long ago. Even the well-intentioned visitor nametag can feel to some like a label -- or worse yet, a target. For some, it seems to brand them as a person who doesn't belong.

One man recently verbalized how exclusive Christians seem, noting that we have our own bookstores, or own radio stations, and in some places our own yellow pages so that we can avoid all contact with "outsiders" or people who don't belong to the same club. Yikes. Now that I see what that looks like from the perspective of a person approaching (or not!) us, I'm stunned. I hadn't thought of it that way. But now I see how it may appear.

When I received a flyer from a Christian bookstore recently, I read it with different (outside) eyes, and my heart hurt. If I were longing for inclusion, I would have found multiple instances reinforcing my lonely status -- not part of the group.

Let me challenge you to take a look at us with these "other eyes" and join me in thinking of ways to minimize these barriers.